


Walking on Broken Glass

by milliewrites



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 09:02:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22847626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milliewrites/pseuds/milliewrites
Summary: The Foxes are back for another game against the Ravens, and it has got everybody on edge. Especially Neil who goes over the edge after a Raven players comment, and Andrew pieces him back together. **Mention of Neil's past abuse**
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 10
Kudos: 109





	Walking on Broken Glass

Following Kevin out onto the court Neil can see the tension his shoulders. Tonight was an away game against the Ravens and being back at Evermore had put them both on edge. It didn't matter that Riko and coach Moriyama were gone, the place still reaked of their presence.

Being here was effecting everyone and stares of his teammates eyes on the back of his head were heavy through warm ups and drills.

• • •

The game passed by in a blur of shots, goals, passes and violence that Neil watched for the side lines and from the court.

Nearing the end of the game the Ravens were getting desperate. The team had been losing 3 to 4 and they seemed to be taking it to heart, especially the older players.The game had been viscous from the beginning, but now had turned almost reckless. As the final plays wore on Neil watched players being slammed into the plexiglas walls and could hear the crack of rackets battling against each other. With a few minutes left on the clock, the Foxes were awarded a penalty and the players went back to their starting lines, snapping insults at each other as they went.

"Hey Wesninski doing alright? Wasn't sure you'd be able to come back here after last Christmas. Glad you did though, you won me a few bucks and you're gonna win me this game." Neil turned around to look at the players smiling face and gave him a look. He recognized him from Christmas, an older player who he only knew by his last name Williams.

"Fuck off," he said and turned back to wait for the play to start. He clenched his teeth. He knew the comment was only meant to rile him up but it had worked.

The clock started started again and he shook it off and threw himself into the play. Kevin passed him the ball and he took it sprinting up the court using the last of his strength to dodge players on the way to the Ravens net. Swinging his arm back and aiming at the goal when a bullet of black and red came pelting at him, knocking him off his feet and into the boards. The ball went skidding out of his racket and the player, who he now recognized as Williams, snatched it up and ran back to the Foxes goal. 

His adrenaline flooded through his system as he pushed himself to his feet with force to chase after Williams but didn't make it on time. From a distance he watched as he aimed at the bottom of Andrew's net and Andrew snap it away so hard it soared to the other side of the court.

The game was paused again and Williams swore as he stomped away, making Neil braced himself when he saw him coming in his direction, looking for a fight.

"This," he snarled, gesturing to his team, "is what it's like playing again real players Nathaniel. How you managed to make it on our team, even for 3 weeks, is beyond me. I'm only glad I was able to show you how real players play. Again."

At the second motion of his birth name Neil his temper rose again. He reached out and grabbed William by his helmet cage and pulled him down towards his face.

"Use that god damn name one more time and I'll show you just what it means." He snapped through their helmet cages. He let go with a forceful shove and turned to leave but Williams apparently still wasn't finished.

"I'd like to see you try Junior." Neil's common sense sailed out the window with that comment as he turned around again and rammed the stick of his racket hard into Williams' stomach. He hadn't been expecting that and with a grunt bent over around his stomach, making them at eye level. Neil's height and manners may not be good things but when paired together like this, they worked just fine. He stepped closer to him and whispered.

"Consider that a warning."

Neil paused a moment, staring at Williams to make sure he understood, then turned away just as team mates and refs were reaching them. Ravens encircled their player and Neil stalked away before the refs could open their mouths, he had no patience for them or their warnings.

"I'll see myself out," he told them. The Foxes looked at him puzzled but didn't ask questions knowing he wouldn't give them answers and parted so he could pass. He reached his bench and went to sit but Wymack stopped him.

"No way, get in the showers. No hand shacks for you tonight and Renne already said she'd cover press duty. Now get." He considered fighting back but he had no interest in doing press duty and not waiting for the showers sounded nice so he grunted a thanks and left for the showers.

All the way down the hall to the locker rooms Neil could hear Williams' comments playing on a loop in his mind and he clenched his fists angrily.

Reaching the locker room and the showers didn't help calm him down at all. Through all the changes the Ravens had made this year, they still hadn't thought change the decor and the surrounding black enclosed him like a tomb. His memories of his Christmas there weighed heavy on him until he almost felt he was back under the court in the Nest. Neil stripped off his gear piece by piece, throwing them down onto a bench and got into the shower hoping the cold water would cool him off. It didn't.

His scars stared back at him, a blatant reminder of dark moments and his mind skipped from memory to memory without his control or his consent. He only wish his thoughts had the same manners as Andrew did because no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get them to stop.

By the time he finished his shower his hands were shacking hard and he tried to ignore them and push down the memories that were still engulfing him.

He slipped on his armbands from Andrew, a pair of grey sweat pants with the Foxes logo and a hoodie he now realized was Andrew's. Poking his head out of the hood he caught his reflection in the mirror and stopped in his tracks. Someday he didn't think he would ever get over his reflection, and today just felt like proof. Staring back at him from the mirror was his father.

This far from the mirrors his scars seemed small enough to made him feel like the carbon copy people always said he was. He stalked forwards towards the mirror and the memories he had tried to bury bubbled to the surface again. His breathing turned ragged as memories swirled through his head. His father burning his shoulder with the iron. His fathers men catching up with him and his mother for the last time. The last time he had seen that identical pair of blues eyes staring back at him, telling him all the ways he was going to kill him. Lola cutting and burning his arms to make the scars he now carried under the arm bands. Days getting beat up on the Evermore court and nights Riko had chained him to the bed.

Suddenly it was all too much and Neil's hand clenched into fist again and he swung it at the mirror above the sink. Glass crunched under his skin and he felt the first broken pieces bite at his knuckles, but didn't care and punched it again, glass finally raining down with a satisfying hiss. Finally the mirror broke and he moved to the next one. The crunching of glass was satisfying but did little to quiet the distant voice of Williams calling him his birth names.

Wesninski.

Nathaniel.

Junior.

He tried to destroy and bury them all in the shower of glass but they refused to budge. They were all part of his past, and he hated it. He was supposed to be only Neil Jonsten, strike for the Palmetto State Foxes but his reflection refused to let him forget he had once been Nathaniel Wesninski , the Butchers son and a runaway since he was 10.

Completely unaware of anything but ridding his father of him the mirrors, he didn't notice the other boys had shown up. Faintly he heard the sound of somebody approaching and someone else yelling to not touch him but it all seemed like the buzz of an insect on a summer's day. His mind was entirely lost in smashing the mirrors who's reflections kept turning his vision more and more red. That was until someone grabbed his hand as he swung back for another punch and he pivoted and punched Nicky clean in the nose. In shock Nicky let go of his hand to grab for his nose as his eyes started to tear up and the world around Neil came crashing back into blinding focus.

His nerves were on overdrive and he realized he was still shacking. He could finally feel the pain in his hands and his knuckles ached as blood dripping from his finger nails and onto the floor.

"I'm sorry Nicky. I'm so sorry. I didn't..." he couldn't think right and he gasped out an apology. He backing away, glass crunching under his feet.

In the blink of an eye Andrew moved in front of him, blocking his view of Nicky. He was still wearing his gear but let his helmet drop from his fingers and onto the floor. His eyes scanned the scene, expression unchanging, and stopped to rest on Neil, looking him dead in the eye.

Nicky had once said he had fallen for Eric because he was strong enough to support him and Neil felt himself doing the same thing with Andrew. It wasn't the first time but all the same he felt some of his anger fade and be replaced by exhaustion and regret.

"Neil it's fine, don't worry about it." Nicky whispered from behind Andrew. Neil nodded, at lose for words and felt himself being pulled down by grief.

How could have let himself do that? All his life he had spend running from people who had hurt him and now he had gone and hurt someone who had trusted him, despite his past. Tears pricked at his eyes but he blinked them away forcefully, he didn't cry in front of people. Ever.

Andrew sensed his mood and told everybody to leave, his eyes never leaving Neil's. They complied quickly and left Neil and Andrew alone.

"Yes or no," he asked and Neil nodded his head. Andrew stepped forward and grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down into his shoulder.

"Neil breath," he whispered and Neil realized his breaths were coming short and quick, and the lack of oxygen left him even more unsteady on his feet. He wrapped his arms around Andrew and melted into him, counting to ten in French, then German, then Spanish, willing himself to calm down. They didn't move for a long time as Neil slowly pulled himself out of the past and into the present.

The door opened behind them and Andrew tightened his grip on Neil making sure he didn't move from his arms and barked at the person to get out. Abby's voice came from the other side of the room.

"I heard Neil was hurt, I just came to bandage him up," she said.

"Just leave the first aid kit, I can do it." No response came but Neil could hear the sound of something being placed on the bench and the door shutting behind Abby as she left the room.

Andrew pulled away from him and asked, "yes or no." Neil nodded again and meet his lips with Andrew's. Andrew pulled him close again, his lips soft and comforting as his arms around were around Neil's tired body. Neil let himself get lost in Andrew for a minute, taking safety and strength in Andrew's soft kisses. He reached his hand up to tangle it in Andrew's hair when his hands protested and he stopped short, involuntarily letting our a small hiss of pain against Andrew's lips. Andrew pulled away.

"Come, let's get you patched up," he said and pulled him towards the bench where they sat down facing each other.

Andrew got to work, efficently but carefully picking the pieces of glass out of his hand before cleaning and bandaging them up. Thankfully none of the cuts were too deep and gauze and time would heal his knuckles just fine.

When Andrew was finished Neil kept gazed at his hands, avoiding Andrew's eyes until he tapped his chin and made him meet his eyes. Neither of them said anything, Neil content to look at Andrew and Andrew content to stare at Neil's face.

"I'm fine," Neil said finally breaking the silence. Andrew glared at him, angry at his choice of words and Neil dropped his head again but only for a second before Andrew tapped his chin again and Neil complied.

"No really Drew it's fine, I'm okay now."

"156%." Neil gave a tired smile.

"Can I help?" Andrew asked.

"You did help," Neil said and their was a pause.

"Junkie," he whispered back half heartedly and tugged at Neil's hair.

"Yes or no?"

"Yes," their lips meet again as they melted into each other for a second time and ended up with their heads on eachothers shoulders.

"I need to go apologize to Nicky, for what I did."

"Its not your fault Neil, I told him to leave you alone. It's not your fault it didn't listen to me."

"He was just trying to help though, he's always just trying to help, and this is the thanks I give for it."

"You were on the edge Neil, they all understand that, but maybe next time they'll learn how to handle it properly."

"They shouldn't have to handle it."

"And you shouldn't have to handle it alone either." 

Neil didn't know what to say. Sometimes he wished people could know this side of Andrew, the bandages, the kisses, the steadiness that was Andrew, and the calmness he brought him. The soft moments when like this when they could imagin how perfect and normal things could be one day.

"Andrew?" He said finally.

"What?"

"Thank you." Andrew didn't say anything, he knew what he meant. He kissed Andrew's shoulder and they pulled apart.

Slowly they packed up the first aid kit and Neil's eyes wandered towards the mess he had made of the mirrors.

"Leave it," Andrew said. "Someone else will handle it this time Neil. Go, get on the bus." Neil shock his head.

"I'll wait for you." Andrew sighed but didn't argue and picked his way carefully over to the showers and quickly cleaned himself up while Neil kept his back on the mess and packed away their gear.

Andrew caught up to Neil who was waiting at the doors and gently pulled the hood over his head. He looked at Neil and Neil looked back, knowing Andrew was looking to make sure he was alright. When he was satisfied that Niel had been telling the truth he opened the door and left the room first. 

The others were waiting on the other side but Andrew fended off questions with a stare and they let them pass. Wymack followed behind them, down the hall and out the building, sending them ahead to wait in the bus.

In the back seat Andrew reached for Neil's hand and linked their pinkies, not looking his way. Neil smiled and looked back out the window. Things didn't get better in a linear fashion, but at least they had each other through it all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This is my first fanfiction, I hope you liked it and I would really appreciate if you could leave a comment with suggestions, I want to get better at writing.


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